From Bender:  Story #1

Rode to Bagnell dam today to get out of the house. The strip down there is one souvenir shop after another on the Lake of the Ozarks. It attracts all sorts and there is usually a metric fuck-ton of cruisers.

I stopped to get some back scratchers (4 in all ) at one of the podunk places that sells this kinda stuff. When I came back out there were about 5 harleys pulling up in spots next to me. I nod to them, put my helmet on and as I get on my bike one of the guys asks very loudly, “Why didn’t you get a harley?” and promptly fell right-the-fuck over. I think he put his foot down in some kids dropped ice cream.

Good thing I had my helmet on cause I was grinnin like a pig in shit. But to make matters worse, one of his riding buddies screamed out, “Hey dumbfuck, I think karma just bit your dick off!” I tried to help sir drops-a-lot up, but he wouldn’t have it. All his friends waved me off while they were trying not to drop their bikes from laughing so hard.

I’m glad I wasn’t that guy today.

Story #2

We’ve got a few Chinese guys in the plant this month learning how to repair some of our big compressors. 4 or 5 of them I guess and they look to be in their mid 30’s. Nota berry muck engrish to be speeked, so we use a lot of body english and some drawings to help get our points across. Kinda fun actually.

I came out of the plant at quittin’ time today (first one out the door don’t ya know) and found three of them out in the parking lot checking out my ole GS. There are probably 15 harleys and a few hondas, yamahas, suzukis, and kawasakis, but those guy are all out there checking out my filthy bike from top to bottom with big grins on their faces. As I approach they all turn to see me putting on my helmet while I walk towards the bikes. I hop on mine and they all give me the thumbs-up sign. They get real quiet as I turn the key and thumb the starter. As soon as she lights they all get those big goofy smiles on their faces again, so I pointed at one of them and motioned for him to get on the bike. Without hesitation he climbs on and off we go down the grass covered slope that I ain’t supposed to be on, sliding the ass-end of the bike around as much as I dare and take him back. He gets off the bike and I wave goodbye to them as another climbs on back. Ends up I gave them all a short ride while we giggled like idiots. I let the last guy off and they all piped up in broken english… Bee….Emm…a-Doubleyou and gave me the thumbs-up again.

Not one of them heard any of the open-piped bikes fire up and leave.

Pretty damn cool!

I have been in the market for a medium size tool chest for several weeks and with a little time to kill on a Wednesday afternoon; I decided to pay my local Lowe’s store a visit.  To make a long story short, I found what I was looking for and bought it, but while pushing the cart across the parking lot I remembered I was on my motorcycle.  “This could be a problem,” I said to myself.  I knew I only had a couple of bungee cords in my top bag and this box was bigger than I had anticipated.

I tried several different approaches to secure the box, but it was simply too large.  Just then I saw a friend of mine pulling into the lot in his beat up Silverado.  I flagged him down and asked him to drop the box off at my house, which he was willing to do, but only after he busted my chops for being such a dumb ass.   This impulse purchase worked out for me in the end, but without the help of a friend, I would have been screwed.  So here’s my question for you; “What’s the strangest thing you have ever carried on your motorcycle?”

I have scoured the names of the nearly 900 Harley Davidson dealerships in the United States and have selected twelve dealerships I think have the coolest names.  Here’s my list….

1.  Powder Keg H.D.

2.  Big Swamp H.D.

3.  Pig Tail  H.D.

4.  Devil Mountain H.D.

5.  Stormy Hill H.D.

6.  Killer Creek H.D.

7.  Rawhide H.D.

8.  Big Moose H.D.

9.  Battlefield H.D.

10.  Deadwood H.D.

11.  Wild West H. D.

12.  Horny Toad H.D.

What dealerships would you add to the list?

A gentle rain is falling and the coffee has just finished brewing.  That combination makes for an excellent writing atmosphere.  Beginning Monday, I will post ride reports from my most recent trip to Gettysburg, Pennsylvania.  It was an good tour and I hope you enjoy the stories.  Have a blessed Sunday!

This has been a strange week for me. Over the last four days I have met some fascinating and some extremely unusual individuals. I was introduced to conjoined twins, a young man with a face full of piercings, a geologist, a woman with more hair on her legs than mine, a chemist, and a couple other characters that I dare not speak about for fear I may end up in a dumpster on the south side of town, but Warren, wins the prize for the most bizarre.

Warren, is a gentlemen in his mid 70’s, he is 6′2′ tall and of slender build, but in amazing shape for a man of his age. His skin is tan and leathery from years of working outdoors and riding his beloved motorcycles all around the country. When he speaks you can detect a slight Appalachian drawl, and his personality is infectious.

Talk to Warren for three minutes and he will lead you into his favorite subject; his burial. Yep, with Warren, you move from “Nice day isn’t it?” to his burial plans in the same sentence. Here’s the story…

Warren, loves one thing more than anything else, and that is his motorcycles. He has been a motorcycle enthusiast for so long his entire persona is intertwined with it, that is the reason when he dies he wants to buried sitting on his motorcycle. He doesn’t simply want the motorcycle to buried with him, any “poser” (his words) can do that, Warren, wants to be sitting on his bike as if he is riding down the road! I told him he didn’t need a mortician, but rather a taxidermist.

For the past several years, Warren has been working with several attorney’s to obtain legal permission to be buried sitting on his motorcycle in a Plexiglas vault which he designed and fabricated. The clear acrylic vault has been built to precise specifications including a six inch concrete base and an eight inch thick top.

On the day of his funeral, after the hymns have been sung and the eulogy pronounced, the see through vault, which is on wheels, will be towed to it’s final resting place. A large crane will then lower Warren into the grave where he will ride on eternally.

I told you it has been a strange week for me!

With new skins on the Triumph, and the possibility of rain later in the day I will eat a light breakfast then hit the road early.

I won’t wonder far.

I will stay within a hundred miles of the house because…
1. Rain is in the forecast and the Triumph has little protection from the elements.
2. My wife is preparing to leave on business trip so I need to help her.
3. The Ohio State Buckeyes play in the NCAA Tourney at 2:00 p.m.
4. I am old and can only ride the Triumph that long.

Keep the rubber side down!

With an afternoon void of pressing issues and a short supply of pipe tobacco, I decided to visit “Kings Rook 4″,  a mom and pop tobacco shop located in Tipp City, a small community 35 minutes northwest of Springfield.

Kings Rook 4, has been around for years and has garnered quite a loyal following.  Leah, the white haired proprietor, is up in years and opens the store if she has nothing more immediate on her agenda, I recommend you call ahead!  I first heard of the quaint tobacco shop some 8 or 9 years ago from a good client of mine, but simply had never taken the time to visit.  Today was the day!

Tipp City, was established in 1840 along the Miami and Erie Canal, and boast a population of just under 10,000 residents.  Commerce has blossomed on a section of Main St. now deemed the “Historic District,” and the business owners are working hard to recapture the glory days of this canal towns past.

Tipp, as it is called by the locals, is a short motorcycle ride from Springfield and is easily accessible by a variety of routes.  From Springfield I chose to ride Interstate 70 west to I-75 north, then eastward on 571 which takes you straight into the heart of the Historic District.  This is not the most direct way, but I wanted to open the RT up a bit and my doctor says a little highway speed is good for the  soul.

After an exhilarating ride, I arrived downtown and upon securing my gear, leisurely strolled past the shops.   On my right was the Grounds for Pleasure Coffeehouse, across the street, Sam and Ethel’s restaurant, next door, Browse Awhile Books, and nearby, Kings Rook 4.

Apparently my friend Scott, had called Leah earlier that morning to warn her of my impending arrival, because the moment I entered the shop she exclaimed, “You must be that Springfield fellow.  “Indeed I am” I replied, and with that simple introduction we became friends.

Leah, gave me a quick tour of the store then left me to browse uninterrupted.  With an adequate supply of cigars safely tucked away in my humidor this day’s focus was on securing a few new blends of pipe tobacco.  One by one I removed the old tobacco canisters from the shelf and slowly sampled tobacco blends like, “Peaches and Cream,” “Nougat,” “Blue Note,” and my favorite; “Harvest Moon.”  Nothing calms ones nerves better than a perfectly blended mixture of pipe tobacco.  After a long while, I made my final selections and bid Leah “good day.”  It was time to head home.

My brief visit to Tipp City was pleasurable and one I will definitely do again, it’s the kind of place my wife would enjoy.  I can see us browsing the boutiques, sipping coffee at the outdoor cafe, and thumbing through some old books now out of print.  If you should find yourself sashaying down Main St. in this little community, be certain to drop in on Leah and pick up a few ounces of “Harvest Moon” tobacco. On second thought, you probably should call ahead.

Sunday presented me with a rare opportunity.  Both of my sons were home from college and as such, we were able to share the day riding together.

We geared up and departed the house around noon, spending the better part of the day racing up and down the winding roads of northeast Clark County.  The skies were overcast, with gusty winds, so gusty in fact, maintaining lane positon was often difficult to achieve. 

We enjoyed the landscape now at rest, and rode through many small villages and sleepy bergs.  Upon leaving one small town, we encountered seven or eight chickens happily pecking on the left side of the road, at least that’s what they were doing until we approached them.  The sounds of the motorcycles frightened the fowl. Deciding it was time to return to the safety of the barnyard they ran across the road, directly in front of us.  I was leading, and managed to escape them, Ethan, riding second, and was not so fortunate.  Yes, Ethan hit a chicken!  Fortunately, the bird wasn’t injured, and after a brief period of confusion  headed on to safety.  “Damn there goes dinner,” I thought.

As darkness approached, we headed home to a pot of homemade vegtable soup, crusty bread, and a roaring fire.  We spent the evening enjoying one another’s company, swapping stories about the ride, content in now knowing ”Why the chicken crossed the road.” 

As my sons continue to grow older, and establish their own lives, these rare opportunities of riding together become more and more valuable to me.  It was a great day.

In this episode of Jay’s Garage, Jay talks with Chief Technical Designer of Zero Motorcycles, Neal Saiki. Enjoy!

As many of you know, our fellow blogger, and very good friend Stephanie Boom Maiers, AKA Iowa Harley Girl, is battling with Hairy cell Leukemia.   She has been hospitalized since October 19th.   Stephanie recently finished her chemotherapy treatments and is currently awaiting an increase in her white blood count. Please keep her in your thoughts and prayers.  Today is Stephanie’s birthday and we wish her all the best!  Miss you!